Yumz's Next Goal is Brain Control

You heard me. The gourmet frozen yogurt parlor you all love is a ruse.

You people sit there and eat away like there's no tomorrow. Everyone flocks to Yumz after hitting up the movie theater or a day of shopping. They probably serve over a hundred people a day. They'll keep raking in money, you'll keep filling your bellies with frozen yogurt.

But what you don't realize is that soon, Yumz is gonna put nanobots in their innocent-looking frozen yogurt. Those nanobots will be programmed to tell you that you want more and more frozen yogurt. They will overpower surrounding businesses and seep in through the cracks in the wall, and then every single store around town will be controlled by Yumz. Everyone will become Yumzombies that crave frozen yogurt instead of brains. Yumz will control Wall Street. Every business in America will be a Yumz. No need for grocery stores, there'll be frozen yogurt to eat. Mattresses? Forget it. We'll SLEEP on frozen yogurt. Our CLOTHES will be made from frozen yogurt.

Then there'll be a group of rebels who will take down the Yumz, store by store, Yumzombie by Yumzombie. Then they'll go in for the kill and take out the head of all the Yumz, but there will be some twisted plotline and the rebels will find out that Yumz is experimenting on people, trying to clone one of the rebels that is immune to the Yumz disease.

Just think Resident Evil, and you'll see the future of Yumz.

Seriously, though. I don't see what's so great about Yumz. It's not that delicious. My brother obsesses over it though, and it's annoying. It's way too crowded in there, and I'm not too fond of paying 4 bucks for a cup frozen yogurt. It's irritating.

If you agree with me about this Yumz obsession, or if you love Yumz, tell me why in the comments! I'd love to hear them (even though I'm biased).