Dear Speech Team

Dear Speech Team,

The season is over, and I will dearly miss you. I will miss the six-pound bag of gummy bears, though we already ate it in one sitting, as well as the snowball cheese-flavored puffs that Hartnett hoarded. I will miss your argyle and your sexy nose-stroking. You are awesome and amazing, almost as amazing as the robotic vending machine, and that's saying saying something. You're even comparable to the five of diamonds. Wait...no, you're not. THE FIVE OF DIAMONDS RULES ALL.

Often I will reminisce of the times we'd spend sitting in the dark on the bus, waiting for Hartnett to arrive with her donuts; and the instances we got on the wrong bus. Some days the announcers for the award ceremonies were stupid, some were decent, and others were...stupid. The only thing preventing us from stabbing them with their own mascots was the fact that we'd probably get arrested.

We laughed, we didn't really cry, but we laughed a shitload more, and so I will sum this letter up with my sincerest wishes for you for the rest of the semester and the years to come. Remember, keep your gender in check, and always stay behind the podium.

Love to my Speechies,
Emily