We often hear of weird and uncanny laws enforced in the various states here in America. Sometimes we scoff, laugh, or crinkle our noses at the ridiculousness of said laws, and then go on with our daily lives. When I hear of these mandates, I wonder about the reasoning behind them. What happened that made legislators put these rules in place? How severe was it that there needed to be a law against it?
For example, in Maryland, it is illegal to mistreat oysters. Someone must've abused an oyster and called it a fat cow, prompting the oyster to sue, and since oysters can't sue but it still felt its rights were violated, there was a huge debate in the courtroom and they ended up making it illegal to mistreat oysters.
In Oregon, one may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing", i.e., that which covers one's body from neck to knee. I'm really confused about this one. Isn't the point of bathing to reach every part of your body with soap? How are you supposed to do that with a turtleneck and gym shorts on?
In Pennsylvania, "Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes." Wait, what? "Hey, we're a team of skittish horses, yo. And if we see your car in one piece, we gonna call the cops."
In South Carolina, every citizen is obliged to carry his gun to church. What kind of churches do they have where they would need guns? Maybe S.C. is infested with zombies so they need firearms with them at all times. Someone could've been like, "Dude, it's church, I'm not gonna bring my gun, yo." but then zombies attacked their church and he died because he didn't have his gun with him.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because contains a formula for making beer at home. WAY TO GO, TEXAS.
Cheese making in Wisconsin requires a cheese maker's license. Dammit.
The last three are from North Carolina:
Hornytown has banned all massage parlors.
State law mandates that all couples staying in rooms for one night must be kept in room with double beds, kept at a minimum of two feet apart, and making love on the floor between the beds is strictly forbidden.
It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.
North Carolina needs to get their shit together.
Live long and prosper,
Emily
Some of these laws are outdated, like the one from SC. You probably had to take a gun to church in the case of an Indian attack on the town. Also, the Oregon law is likely talking about swimming as they called swimming "bathing" in the 1800s.
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